Living with Moslems
When she was in her late teens, my sister, who is several years younger than I, converted to Islam after closely examining the merits of Christianity and rejecting it. The fact that her then-boyfriend and soon-to-be first husband was Moslem might have had something to do with it, too; in any event, she remains Moslem, twenty years later. For the last couple of years, I have lived with her and her second husband, a recently-naturalized American citizen from Pakistan, and their two children (my nephews), in the house my parents used to own, so I’ve had the opportunity to see, to a certain extent, how their religion affects them. (I say, “to a certain extent,” because I do not attend their religious services and only see the effects of their Islamic belief in small ways.)
Both my sister and my brother-in-law are good people. When I—an avowed nontheist—tell my nephews that the most important thing in life is to be good and kind to other people, my brother-in-law tells them to listen to their Uncle Keith. I certainly hope and expect that if my sister and brother-in-law were not Moslem, they would still be good, kind people, but in any event, it seems that they use their religious belief to reinforce such qualities and to promote such qualities in my nephews. (I take it that most Moslems are essentially this way: People who want to get along with each other and who mainly try to use their religious belief to reinforce their commitments to treating other people well, rather than to justify treating other people badly. However, I confess that I do not know what percentage do use Islam to justify treating other people badly, and of course we know that some Moslems in positions of authority in other countries have done so; and I don’t know how much of that is attributable to their religion and how much is attributable to their culture. Because many Moslems do not believe in the separation of church and state, but rather suffuse their daily lives with their religion, it’s hard to tell how to make such attributions.)
So, what differences are there between how they behave as Moslems and how they would behave if they weren’t Moslem? Obviously, since that is a counterfactual question, I’m limited in the conclusions I can draw; but my sister probably wouldn’t keep her head covered, as she does most of the time, and they probably wouldn’t kneel on their holy rugs, turn toward the east, and pray five times each day, and they probably wouldn’t keep several copies of the Koran around the house, and they probably wouldn’t be careful to eat only halal (Islamically approved) food, and they probably wouldn’t have art depicting mosques or a calendar with the sayings of the Islamic cleric M.R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen hanging on their walls, and they probably wouldn’t fast in the daylight hours during Ramadan. Perhaps my brother-in-law would drink alcohol, or womanize, were he not Moslem, although I’m inclined to doubt that he would do the former to excess or that he would do the latter at all. He’s simply a good person. (I don’t think my sister has ever been inclined to drink, religious belief or no religious belief.)
The main effect, one that I deplore, is that my nephews are being raised Moslem—that is to say, they are being indoctrinated with religious belief. I object to such indoctrination, and it’s fortunate for family harmony that my sister and brother-in-law seem to espouse a very moderate brand of Islam, so that I don’t feel compelled to loudly object to my nephews’ being taught religion. At some point, they will ask me what I believe and why, and then I will tell them that although many very smart people do believe in God, I see insufficiently strong evidence or rational argumentation from acceptable premisses to justify such belief, and therefore withhold belief—as I think other people should, too. For now, though, I don’t see a whole lot of ill effects from their teaching—particularly not drastic ones—and they’re even learning a foreign language as a result of it (Moslems do not think that you’re really reading the Koran unless you’re reading it in Arabic), which can only help them later in life. The values they are learning are values of love and kindness and respect—ones I approve of; and they do not limit themselves in their social circle to other Moslem children. They are growing up to be good people.
April 17th, 2008 at 5:39 am
One minor error; you wrote, “…and they probably wouldn’t be careful to eat only haram (Islamically approved) food,”
That should be halal food; haram food is forbidden food; e.g., pork and alcohol.
Even though you have theological differences between yourself and your sister and brother-in-law, it’s good that you can see the positive aspects of how they try to live an Islamic life. For you, like my own family back home, it sometimes helps to know Muslims personally in order to understand Islam and why Muslims do what we do. (BTW, I used to be quite the atheist as well, from my teen years through my mid 30s.)
April 21st, 2008 at 2:17 am
I’ve fixed the error. Sorry about that. Thanks for pointing it out!
I do not, however, understand Islam or why Moslems do what they do (or Christianity or why Christians do what they do–apart from having been inculcated with belief from a very young age, or having been converted when emotionally vulnerable). And my brother-in-law is only one step from advocating shariah law.
I should say that I conceive of religion as being about *belief*; my sister does not. The closest she has come to explaining it has been to say that it’s something like an art for her. I don’t understand.
Thanks again for your comment!
June 12th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Islam: if you go in and then change your mind, can you come back out? If not, it seems a bit ominous. The way that I understand it is that both Christianity and Islam are able to retain their members because they promise them immortality. Life after death is quite a benefit, considering the alternative.
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“Say: We believe in Allah and in what has been sent down to us, and what was sent down to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob and the twelve sons of Jacob, and what was given to Moses, Jesus and the Prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between them and to Him (Allah) we have submitted (in Islam).” [Qur’an Ali-Imran 3:84]
We can put any religion or system of beliefs to test by examining whether it is rational, universal, applicable at all times, in all places, and by people of all colors and languages, and whether the religion’s Scripture is free of alteration, internal and external inconsistencies. A scripture is internally inconsistent if it contains discrepancies and contradictions within its text, and externally inconsistent if it contradicts facts (not theories) from science and nature as we know them. For it is impossible that God does not know His creation or that which He creates.
“Say: O followers of the Book! come to an equitable proposition between us and you that we shall not serve any but Allah and (that) we shall not associate aught with Him, and (that) some of us shall not take others for lords besides Allah; but if they turn back, then say: Bear witness that we are Muslims.” [Qur’an Ali-Imran 3:64]
http://moslemprayer.blogspot.com/
September 4th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Just like your nephews, I was born from a moslem family and grew up as a moslem in a country that the moslems are majority.
In my teens i’ve lost my faith and belief to my religion but i’m not an atheis, i do beleive to God.
After i entered the college, may be it was a miracle, Allah gave me and showed me the way and right now I am a Moslem and proud to be a Moslem.
Nice to share the story.
http://moslemprayer.blogspot.com/
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